r/Divorce_Men – I am leaving her once and for all. It's…

The lying, the cheating, the stealing finances, the parental alienation, the multiple boyfriends, the manipulation, the calling life with me “miserable” and rewriting history. The non-appreciation of anything. The whining. The complaining. The ungratefulness. The “I can easily replace you mentality.” The flirting to extract resources from me. The BPD tendencies, the magical thinking. Putting her husband as the last option.

Today I had it, she has officially destroyed my life. I let it go on for far too long. 8 years of walking on eggshells. On trying to be her “man.” Nothing was good enough. How many times did I get cheated on? How many times did I try to make her happy but it wasn’t enough? How many times can she blame me for all of her problems? Blame our son? Now she’s out partying, clubbing, and going crazy. All whilst married still, but oh, she got caught. As soon as she got caught, she let loose. Before s he pretended we were still together.

I’ve never seen a more cold-blooded, cold-hearted individual in my life. My soon-to-be-ex-wife. She saw my dad hooked up to life support, dying, and decided to cheat on me soon after. Tried to fake flirt with me and act like we were still together to get money from me. Then once she got figured out started accusing me of “hitting her” and being “verbally and emotionally abusive.” The fact is I was isolated from my friends, family, and even moved far away to be with her family and for her life. Every time I got a job, she said I abandoned her. Every time I got money, she said “I think I’m all that.” Every time we had sex, we had to sniff my penis beforehand to make sure “I haven’t been with someone else.” Everything indicative of BPD, but I didn’t know it at the time. This girl accused me of so much and split on me, doing a smear campaign against me. Destroying me and our marriage even though I tried to hold it together for the sake of our son. Yeah sure, I was the best husband ever according to her. Suddenly I was the worst option and she will “never go back with me.”

Today I cut the chord from the abuse. She wanted my telephone number for our son. I told her “wait for the parenting app to come through cause I think we should stop all communication, we know currently when he will be dropped off and where, it’s good enough.” I deleted my email she knows. I canceled my phone she knows. I canceled everything. Everything about her I have is going in the trash. I hate to say it, but today I finally admit to myself, this wasn’t “love.” This was abuse. This was gaslighting. This was manipulation. This was trying to make somebody happy who was “miserable.” This person easily “left” and “broke up” every time I got a job to justify her cheating. Then she’d “come back.” Never apologized for anything in her life. If she lost something, somebody “stole it.” If she found it, “I knew it was there.” If something unexpected happened, “I knew it was gonna happen.” And she’s “clairvoyant” and has a twin flame, and has multiple people she sees, all horrible in character. But me? I was boring. Being a dad to our son was not worth it. Nah, everything else was worth it. Living with her mother and flipping on me was worth it to her. Saving our marriage wasn’t worth it. She uses our son like a luxury item, a handbag, that she places down when she leaves for the night to go out to the club. The delusions of grandeur and the “I can do better” and “grass is greener” mentality and control issues are over. The yelling and screaming is over.

Today she called me miserable and said that being with me “all those years” was “miserable” and that she’d “never go back.” I broke down. I realized after 8 years I’ve been chasing a serial cheater and compulsive liar and gaslighter and trying to have her stay with me and save our marriage. I forgot she sent our infant son’s photos to multiple guys, cheated, and cheated again when he turned 7. I lost count of the lies and the amount of chaos she caused. She never contributed to our family and took zero responsibility yet claimed credit for all success. Apparently her mother and herself are the reason I got my bachelor’s degree too, and our son is the reason why she couldn’t succeed in life. I told myself today, you are right, I was miserable, but you weren’t. You used me to the max. You used my dad too. He literally bought us this house before I could afford it. You used me to the max and then monkey branched and flipped the script, called me a narcissist, and left without one conversation but strung me along acting like we were still married.

It was all a lie. Today I told her, enough is enough, I am through with you. And I apologize to myself for you since you will never, ever own up to anything till the day you leave this earth. I deserve better.

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Source:r/Divorce_Men – I am leaving her once and for all. It's…

Discovered on: 2022-11-25 03:18:41

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